confessional
section 1
We tend to be apologizing people. We express regret or sorrow over a wrong done or an offense "taken" but we are not very confessional in our communication. It is seemingly safer and more self-preserving to apologize than to confess because we are usually looking for relief from consequences ii corinthians 7:10-11 hebrews 12:16-17 rather than to repent unto love and be truly known genesis 3:10 john 3:19-21 . We apologize to appease and pacify others galatians 1:10 proverbs 29:25 , but not to build relationships up towards the Lord i corinthians 10:24, 31-11:1 . While apologies are not evil in and of themselves, they are simply insufficient to build Biblical relationships. When done apart from confession they are a weaker counterfeit to what should really be addressed in the heart matthew 12:34 matthew 15:19 joel 2:13 and what should be communicated to the other ephesians 4:15 psalm 51:6 job 13:20 .
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
notes
See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.
And he said, "I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself."
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God."
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
notes
No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
notes
Tear your hearts, not just your clothes, and return to the LORD your God. For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and He relents from sending disaster.
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, Who is the head of His body, the church.
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
notes
section 2
Its fine to say, "Sorry…" and its ok to seek forgiveness luke 17:4 , but that misses the point of Biblically communicating. We should not be looking simply to express some regret over sin or to get off the hook, but rather we should be seeking open-hearted relationships ii corinthians 6:11-13 ; we should be seeking to be devoted to each other ii corinthians 7:12 ; true reconciliation matthew 5:23-24 , true unity ephesians 4:3 . Emotions are fickle, changing with outcomes ii corinthians 7:8 , and getting off the hook is selfish proverbs 14:9 proverbs 30:20 ; so, the heart of selfishness has to be put to death colossians 3:5 by seeking to make things right for our part i samuel 12:3 , not just finding a happy outcome for one’s self. We are seeking to truly change the heart to please God and bless others job 34:31-33 john 17:19 .
and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him."
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.
notes
So even though I wrote to you, it was neither on account of the one who did the wrong nor on account of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are.
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while.
notes
This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, "I have done no wrong."
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Now testify against me in the presence of the LORD and before his anointed one. Whose ox or donkey have I stolen? Have I ever cheated any of you? Have I ever oppressed you? Have I ever taken a bribe and perverted justice? Tell me and I will make right whatever I have done wrong."
"Suppose someone says to God, ‘I am guilty but will offend no more. Teach me what I cannot see; if I have done wrong, I will not do so again.’ Should God then reward you on your terms, when you refuse to repent? You must decide, not I; so tell me what you know.
notes:
section 3
So, we need to build the habit of confession in our communication over the weaker method of simply apologizing as confessional communication will actually bring healing james 5:16 . The mercy we hope for is not in putting the weight of the burden on the offended as much as it is risking throwing yourself upon God’s mercy to work in other’s lives ii corinthians 1:12 isaiah 58:8 proverbs 28:13 by:
specifically clear-cut
joshua 7:19 ii corinthians 4:2 numbers 32:23 proverbs 10:9 proverbs 28:1
open-hearted
ii corinthians 6:11-13 hebrews 4:13 genesis 2:25 genesis 3:10
sorrowful
earnest
eager to clear the conscience
i timothy 1:19 hebrews 9:14 micah 6:6-8 psalm 51:16-17
indignation for your own sin
alertness of what you’re capable of
jude 23 galatians 6:1 1 corinthians 10:13 jeremiah 17:9
longing to truly change
psalm 51:10 psalm 86:11 philippians 3:10-14
devotion to make it right
and a
deep willingness to bear the consequences
ezra 9:13 luke 23:41 psalm 119:75
kind of confessional communication ii corinthians 7:11 .
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace.
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your Righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
notes
Then Joshua said to Achan, "My son, give glory to the LORD, the God of Israel, by telling the truth. Make your confession and tell me what you have done. Don’t hide it from me."
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.
But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and be sure your sin will find you out.
Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
notes
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.
And no creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to Whom we must give account.
He said, "I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself."
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.
notes
For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.
Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, circumcise your hearts, you people of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem...
holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith.
How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, Who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!
What can we bring to the LORD? Should we bring Him burnt offerings? Should we bow before God Most High with offerings of yearling calves? Should we offer Him thousands of rams and ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Should we sacrifice our firstborn children to pay for our sins? No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
notes
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures My plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
notes
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
Teach me Your way, LORD, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your Name.
I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of His resurrection and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
notes
By lovingkindness and truth iniquity is atoned for, And by the fear of the LORD one keeps away from evil.
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham.
"What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, You have punished us less than our sins deserved and have given us a remnant like this.
We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
I know, O LORD, that Your regulations are fair; You disciplined me because I needed it.
See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
notes:
section 4
Confessional communication is not about boasting in your sin any more than it is about trying to hide it james 3:14 . It is a open-hearted mindset to NOT put on a mask i thessalonians 2:5 but rather to humbly present your inner self to God and others i peter 5:5-7 philippians 4:5-6 james 4:2-3 so that you can walk in the light for relationship sake, being forgiven and cleansed of that same inner self that is not so pretty i john 1:7-9 john 3:21 . Confessional communication is not an event or occasion, but a way of life that we need to cultivate at whatever pain it inflicts acts 24:16 . For it is one of the main keys for truly growing love for God and others i timothy 1:5 hosea 10:12 .
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness.
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.
The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that He may come and shower righteousness upon you.’
notes:
Scripture quotations taken from one or more of the following versions as noted:
ESV = The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.
NIV = The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
NLT = The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
NASB = NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE(R), Copyright (C) 1960,1962,1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
HCSB = Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Used by Permission HCSB ©1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 Holman Bible Publishers. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
NKJV = New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.