communication, part 5

©2023 dan bulkley | ask@lifechurchco.com

section 1

outbursts

No one is perfect, especially in our communication james 3:2 . We all have said things we regret ecclesiastes 5:6  and hope others won’t take too seriously ecclesiastes 7:21-22 . Though never forget that the mouth speaks the overflow of the reality of the inner-self matthew 12:34 , and if we have outbursts it is because we have sinful hearts ii corinthians 12:20  galatians 5:19-20 . We tend to dismiss our own outbursts as meaningless emotion, and yet ironically take more to heart the things said to us emotionally isaiah 51:7  psalm 73:8-10 . In our self-justifying mindset we dismiss our own sin as trivial and others as substantial when it should be just the opposite matthew 7:2-3 .

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james 3:2 esv

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

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ecclesiastes 5:6 esv

Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands?

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ecclesiastes 7:21-22 nas

Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you. For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others.

my notes:

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matthew 12:34 esv

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

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ii corinthians 12:20 csb

For I fear that perhaps when I come I will not find you to be what I want, and you may not find me to be what you want. Perhaps there will be quarreling, jealousy, angry outbursts, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

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galatians 5:19-20 csb

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions...

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isaiah 51:7 csb

Listen to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my instruction: do not fear disgrace by men, and do not be shattered by their taunts.

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psalm 73:8-10 nlt

They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth. And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words.

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matthew 7:2-3 csb

For you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use. Why do you look at the splinter in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the beam of wood in your own eye?

my notes:

section 2

We give full vent to our wicked attitudes proverbs 29:11 , parading the folly of our hearts proverbs 14:29 , stirring up strife proverbs 15:1  and infesting our conduct with all kinds of sin proverbs 29:22 . Our hearts are brutal to one another because we love our own selves as we refuse to deny ourselves even the rash, harmful pressure-release of letting it all out ii timothy 3:2-5 . Then we wonder why our relationships are invaded with all kinds of sorrows proverbs 25:28 .

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proverbs 29:11 csb

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise person holds it in check.

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proverbs 14:29 nlt

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.

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proverbs 15:1 esv

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

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proverbs 29:22 nlt

An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

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ii timothy 3:2-5 esv

For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

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proverbs 25:28 nkjv

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.

my notes:

section 3

We should guard our lips psalm 141:3 , not in order to deceive, but to rethink so as to build up and heal rather than tear down and hurt proverbs 12:18 . It takes true strength to measure, redirect, repent and even override your own heart to the benefit of all proverbs 16:32 . Thankfully, by God’s design we have double the apparatuses to hear others than we do to express ourselves. Two that are naturally always open and one the has a natural gate to guard it. So, we should be apt to always listen to reason but slow to respond and/or express ourselves so that we might catch a run away heart before it goes out in fury and does damage james 1:19  proverbs 4:23 .

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psalm 141:3 esv

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

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proverbs 12:18 esv

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

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proverbs 16:32 esv

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

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james 1:19 csb

My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger...

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proverbs 4:23 nlt

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

section 4

boasting

Boasting in anything other than the Lord Himself galatians 6:14  is a worthless jeremiah 9:23-24 , divisive endeavor i corinthians 12:21-26 . If we speak of our accomplishments isaiah 26:12 , abilities i corinthians 4:7 , service ii corinthians 10:17-18 , etc. apart from the sincerity of God’s grace i corinthians 15:10  for the sake of others ii corinthians 12:19  this is sinful boasting james 4:16 . This is because it is not from love but from pride and selfishness i corinthians 13:4 .

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galatians 6:14 esv

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

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jeremiah 9:23-24 esv

Thus says the LORD: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD Who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."

my notes:

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i corinthians 12:21-26 esv

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

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isaiah 26:12 niv84

LORD, You establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished You have done for us.

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i corinthians 4:7 nlt

For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?

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ii corinthians 10:17-18 esv

"Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

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i corinthians 15:10 esv

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

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ii corinthians 12:19 csb

Have you been thinking all along that we were defending ourselves to you? No, in the sight of God we are speaking in Christ, and everything, dear friends, is for building you up.

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james 4:16 esv

As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

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i corinthians 13:4 niv84

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

my notes:

section 5

Boasting is tantamount to saying, "I am god, and I do not need God." isaiah 10:15  isaiah 47:8 . We not only boast by speaking arrogantly about ourselves james 3:5 , but we often boast over each other in the subtly of self-justification…keeping score over one another luke 10:40  obadiah 1:12  job 12:5  romans 11:18 .

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isaiah 10:15 nkjv

Shall the ax boast itself against him who chops with it? Or shall the saw exalt itself against him who saws with it? As if a rod could wield itself against those who lift it up, Or as if a staff could lift up, as if it were not wood!

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isaiah 47:8 esv

Now therefore hear this, you lover of pleasures, who sit securely, who say in your heart, "I am, and there is no one besides me; I shall not sit as a widow or know the loss of children"...

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james 3:5 esv

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

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luke 10:40 esv

But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."

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obadiah 1:12 csb

Do not gloat over your brother in the day of his calamity; do not rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their destruction; do not boastfully mock in the day of distress.

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job 12:5 niv84

Men at ease have contempt for misfortune as the fate of those whose feet are slipping.

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romans 11:18 csb

...do not boast that you are better than those branches. But if you do boast — you do not sustain the root, but the root sustains you.

my notes:

section 6

We should rather humble ourselves by thinking truthfully about our own faith romans 12:3  without lifting ourselves up on the seeming failure of another galatians 6:3-4 , but rather bear with any other’s perceived weakness romans 15:1-3  trying to help and restore galatians 6:1  especially when we assess ourselves as stronger hebrews 7:7  genesis 12:2  as the other should be thought of as still more important philippians 2:3-5  ii corinthians 13:5-9 . Our boasts should be in the Lord alone i corinthians 1:31 , even to the point of embracing our weaknesses for His glory’s sake ii corinthians 11:30, 12:9-10 .

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romans 12:3 nlt

Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.

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galatians 6:3-4 nkjv

For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not {over} another.

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romans 15:1-3 esv

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please Himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on Me."

my notes:

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galatians 6:1 esv

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

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hebrews 7:7 nlt

And without question, the person who has the power to give a blessing is greater than the one who is blessed.

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genesis 12:2 esv

And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.

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philippians 2:3-5 csb

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,

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ii corinthians 13:5-9 csb

Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith. Examine yourselves. Or do you yourselves not recognize that Jesus Christ is in you? — unless you fail the test. And I hope you will recognize that we ourselves do not fail the test. But we pray to God that you do nothing wrong — not that we may appear to pass the test, but that you may do what is right, even though we may appear to fail. For we can’t do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. We rejoice when we are weak and you are strong. We also pray that you become fully mature.

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i corinthians 1:31 esv

...as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

my notes:

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ii corinthians 11:30, 12:9-10 esv

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

my notes:

section 7

godless chatter

You could say that Godless chatter is a catch-all of sinful communication. That is because anything that is not from, through, and to God romans 11:36  is not of faith i timothy 6:20-21 , and anything not of faith is sin romans 14:23 . If you cannot be self-controlled in your communication, it reveals a deficiency in your faith i thessalonians 3:10  as self-control is from the Holy Spirit galatians 5:22-23 . Such lack of control should reveal how deceived we are about what we would call our sincere beliefs james 1:26 .

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romans 11:36 esv

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.

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i timothy 6:20-21 niv84

Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith. Grace be with you.

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romans 14:23 csb

But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith, and everything that is not from faith is sin.

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i thessalonians 3:10 esv

...as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?

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galatians 5:22-23 esv

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

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james 1:26 esv

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

my notes:

section 8

Godless chatter is a hindrance for people OF GOD as lies, slander, gossip, flattery, arguing, complaining, outbursts, boasting along with careless words matthew 12:36 , obscenities, foolishness and crude joking handicap Biblical communication ephesians 5:3-4 . This is because communicating something even as simple as a deriding joke proverbs 26:18-19  dismisses the holiness of God i peter 1:16 , even a cultural curse word colossians 3:8  matthew 26:74  romans 12:17  ratifies a heart of disregard for the Lord matthew 12:36  and disregard for others’ benefit romans 12:17  ephesians 4:29 . Godless chatter is so dangerous because the less God is in your communication the less God is in your mind ii timothy 2:16 . Since godless chatter is thoughtlessness towards God and others, we should instead be mindful of what is in the best eternal interests of our hearers philippians 2:20-21  i corinthians 10:24 , which we know centers all on God ephesians 1:22-23 .

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matthew 12:36 esv

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak...

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ephesians 5:3-4 esv

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

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proverbs 26:18-19 esv

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I am only joking!"

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i peter 1:16 esv

since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I Am holy."

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colossians 3:8 esv

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

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matthew 26:74 csb

Then {Peter} started to curse and to swear with an oath, "I don’t know the man!" Immediately a rooster crowed...

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romans 12:17 nas

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

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matthew 12:36 esv

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak...

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romans 12:17 esv

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

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ephesians 4:29 nas

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

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ii timothy 2:16 niv84

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

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philippians 2:20-21 esv

For I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

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i corinthians 10:24 niv84

Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

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ephesians 1:22-23 esv

...the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him Who fills all in all.

my notes: