Communication, Part 3

©2022 dan bulkley | ask@lifefellowship.org

the spiral funnel of sinful communication

Section 1

The Scriptures tell us that our natural communication is corrupt psalm 14:3  psalm 73:8-10  as it expresses the wickedness of our natural heart jeremiah 17:9  romans 3:10-14 matthew 12:34 . We naturally speak our native tongue john 3:31  i john 4:5  john 8:43-44 . As such, our natural communication left unrepented of will lead us further into destruction james 3:6  james 1:15 . So, we must understand what worldly communication consists of in order to recognize and repent of it job 42:3-6 .

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psalm 14:3 esv

They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.

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psalm 73:8-10 nlt

They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth. And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words.

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jeremiah 17:9 esv

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

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romans 3:10-14 esv

as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."

"Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive."

"The venom of asps is under their lips."

"Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness."

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matthew 12:34 esv

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

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john 3:31 esv

He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all.

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i john 4:5 esv

They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them.

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john 8:43-44 niv84

Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

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james 3:6 esv

And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

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james 1:15 esv

Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

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job 42:3-6 nlt

You asked, ‘Who is this that questions My wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me.

You said, ‘Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’

I had only heard about You before, but now I have seen You with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance."

Section 2

lies

Lies come in may shapes and sizes because it is our most natural form of communication romans 3:4  john 8:44 . We lie by distorting the Truth ii peter 3:16  romans 1:25 . We lie by falsifying situations and facts proverbs 12:17 . We exaggerate acts 5:1-4, 8 , cloak proverbs 26:23  proverbs 10:18 , distract matthew 23:23 , whitewash jeremiah 2:22 , and confuse jeremiah 2:23  because we find lies to be a comforting refuge isaiah 28:15  from the exposure of the Truth john 3:19-20  ephesians 5:13 . Probably the most common lie is communication itself as what is meant for knowing and being known is actually used to misrepresent the inner self rather than openly convey it ii corinthians 11:13-15  matthew 7:15 . Humanity lives a lie walking in falsehood as a way of life jeremiah 23:14  psalm 119:29  hating and being hated titus 3:3  because we give no regard to the harm our life of lies does proverbs 26:28 .

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romans 3:4 csb

Absolutely not! Let God be true, even though everyone is a liar, as it is written: That you may be justified in Your words and triumph when You judge.

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john 8:44 csb

You are of your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of lies.

my notes:

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ii peter 3:16 nas

as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.

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romans 1:25 csb

They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever. Amen.

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proverbs 12:17 nlt

An honest witness tells the truth; a false witness tells lies.

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acts 5:1-4, 8 csb

But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property. However, he kept back part of the proceeds with his wife’s knowledge, and brought a portion of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet. "Ananias," Peter asked, "why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the proceeds of the land? Wasn’t it yours while you possessed it? And after it was sold, wasn’t it at your disposal? Why is it that you planned this thing in your heart? You have not lied to people but to God."

"Tell me," Peter asked her, "did you sell the land for this price?" "Yes," she said, "for that price."

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proverbs 26:23 csb

Smooth lips with an evil heart are like glaze on an earthen vessel.

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proverbs 10:18 esv

The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.

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matthew 23:23 esv

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.

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jeremiah 2:22 csb

Even if you wash with lye and use a great amount of bleach, the stain of your iniquity is still in front of Me. This is the Lord GOD’s declaration.

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jeremiah 2:23 esv

How can you say, ‘I am not unclean, I have not gone after the Baals’? Look at your way in the valley; know what you have done— a restless young camel running here and there...

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isaiah 28:15 nas

Because you have said, "We have made a covenant with death, And with Sheol we have made a pact. The overwhelming scourge will not reach us when it passes by, For we have made falsehood our refuge and we have concealed ourselves with deception."

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john 3:19-20 esv

And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

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ephesians 5:13 esv

...when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible...

my notes:

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ii corinthians 11:13-15 esv

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.

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matthew 7:15 esv

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

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jeremiah 23:14 esv

But in the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen a horrible thing: they commit adultery and walk in lies; they strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that no one turns from his evil; all of them have become like Sodom to me, and its inhabitants like Gomorrah."

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psalm 119:29 csb

Keep me from the way of deceit and graciously give me your instruction.

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titus 3:3 esv

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.

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proverbs 26:28 nlt

A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin.

my notes:

Section 3

Lies are so ingrained in humanity, even in the church’s culture, thinking and hearts, that when someone truthfully conveys the inner self john 8:55-59  or simply speaks the Truth {which inherently exposes lies} matthew 15:7-12  i john 2:21 , we find it shocking, arrogant ii corinthians 12:19  and offensive. We heed and embrace wicked communication over gracious communication ii corinthians 11:20  because we ourselves are liars proverbs 17:4  and find the harm of lies more comforting revelation 22:15  than the redeeming, transforming Truth john 3:21  john 8:32, 43-45 . So, we should repent of speaking lies in any form and rather recognize that we need to speak truthfully to each other because that is how we actually have genuine relationships ephesians 4:25 .

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john 8:55-59 esv

But you have not known Him. I know Him. If I were to say that I do not know Him, I would be a liar like you, but I do know Him and I keep His Word. Your father Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day. He saw it and was glad."

So the Jews said to Him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?"

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I Am."

So they picked up stones to throw at Him, but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple.

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matthew 15:7-12 esv

You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: "‘This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me; in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’"

And He called the people to Him and said to them, "Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."

Then the disciples came and said to Him, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?"

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i john 2:21 csb

I have not written to you because you don’t know the truth, but because you do know it, and because no lie comes from the truth.

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ii corinthians 12:19 esv

Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? It is in the sight of God that we have been speaking in Christ, and all for your upbuilding, beloved.

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ii corinthians 11:20 esv

For you bear it if someone makes slaves of you, or devours you, or takes advantage of you, or puts on airs, or strikes you in the face.

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proverbs 17:4 esv

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.

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revelation 22:15 nlt

Outside the city are the dogs—the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie.

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john 3:21 csb

But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.

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john 8:32, 43-45 esv

"...you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear My word. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me.

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ephesians 4:25 nas

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.

Section 4

slander

Slander is speaking ill of someone with malicious intent leviticus 19:16 . The malicious speech is most often untrue or distorted deuteronomy 19:16-21  romans 3:8  with hopes to hurt another’s reputation, feelings, relationships, ministry, etc. psalm 15:3 , even to elevate one’s own iii john 9-10 . So, if you don’t think you slander but speak to elevate yourself, you probably are stepping on someone else to go up, which is slandering. The slanderous attitude and communication are not concerned with doing God’s Word, but distortedly utilizing it for selfish ends james 4:11 . It is literally devilish- diabolos titus 2:3 . We should instead, do just the opposite; we should communicate to the fullest extent of Truth ii corinthians 13:8  i corinthians 13:6-7  to build the reputation iii john 12 , courage i thessalonians 5:11 , relationships philemon 17-20 , character romans 14:19 , etc. of others up, especially at the cost of our own ii corinthians 13:7-9  philippians 2:3-5 .

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leviticus 19:16 csb

Do not go about spreading slander among your people; do not jeopardize your neighbor’s life; I am the Lord.

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deuteronomy 19:16-21 esv

If a malicious witness arises to accuse a person of wrongdoing, then both parties to the dispute shall appear before the LORD, before the priests and the judges who are in office in those days. The judges shall inquire diligently, and if the witness is a false witness and has accused his brother falsely, then you shall do to him as he had meant to do to his brother. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. And the rest shall hear and fear, and shall never again commit any such evil among you. Your eye shall not pity. It shall be life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

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romans 3:8 esv

And why not do evil that good may come?—as some people slanderously charge us with saying. Their condemnation is just.

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psalm 15:3 esv

...who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend...

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iii john 9-10 nkjv

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church.

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james 4:11 esv

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

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titus 2:3 esv

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good

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ii corinthians 13:8 esv

For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth.

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i corinthians 13:6-7 esv

{love} does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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iii john 12 esv

Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true.

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i thessalonians 5:11 esv

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

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philemon 17-20 esv

So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

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romans 14:19 csb

So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.

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ii corinthians 13:7-9 csb

But we pray to God that you do nothing wrongnot that we may appear to pass the test, but that you may do what is right, even though we may appear to fail. For we can’t do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. We rejoice when we are weak and you are strong. We also pray that you become fully mature.

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philippians 2:3-5 csb

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus...

Section 5

gossip

Gossip is much like slander romans 1:29-30  but is distinct in that it carries a connotation of communicating of things that is not even one’s business to communicate proverbs 26:17  or communicating it to those who have no business addressing it proverbs 11:13, 12:23 . "It is not my tale to tell." We gossip when we either listen to or speak of matters that are not our responsibility to address or convey luke 12:13-14 . Often there is a subtle, but not so subtle, undertone of grumbling james 5:9  with a guise of concern, "…bless his heart…". It feeds our flesh of self-validation to participate in gossip and yet often is cloaked as innocuous venting proverbs 26:22 . But speaking of a matter: with no intent and confession to address your own heart james 5:16 , to genuinely help the one you are speaking of and the one you are speaking to, or even to bring God’s gracious counsel to the situation- then it is gossip for it only stirs the pot of strife proverbs 26:20 .

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romans 1:29-30 esv

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents...

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proverbs 26:17 csb

A person who is passing by and meddles in a quarrel that’s not his is like one who grabs a dog by the ears.

my notes:

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proverbs 11:13, 12:23 esv

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly.

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luke 12:13-14 esv

Someone in the crowd said to Him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me."

But He said to him, "Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?"

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james 5:9 esv

Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door.

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proverbs 26:22 csb

A gossip’s words are like choice food that goes down to one’s innermost being.

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james 5:16 esv

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

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proverbs 26:20 csb

Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.

my notes:

Section 6

The deceptiveness of gossip is that when we tend to speak of people in inappropriate ways, we then neglect to bring up a matter when actually appropriate ecclesiastes 8:6, 3:1, 7 . Because our conscience is defiled with malicious intent we then do not communicate what is helpful ephesians 4:29  but often consider being a witness of any sort as gossip rather than a help to establish the truth ii corinthians 13:1  i corinthians 5:1  i corinthians 11:18 . The difference in gossip and legitimate reporting is the difference between a heart of love and a heart of selfishness and the validity of speaking to those who should know and venting to those who have no legitimate business in it. We are to attend to each other genesis 4:9  james 4:17 , but that is not accomplished through malicious speech that degrades others and elevates one’s self. No, the greatest, foremost business any individual has regarding another is you making sure you yourself are following Christ faithfully to the benefit of all john 21:22  i john 5:2 ?

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ecclesiastes 8:6, 3:1, 7 niv84

For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...

...a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak...

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ephesians 4:29 niv84

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

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ii corinthians 13:1 csb

This is the third time I am coming to you. Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

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i corinthians 5:1 esv

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.

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i corinthians 11:18 esv

For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part...

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genesis 4:9 niv84

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" "I don’t know," he replied. "Am I my brother’s keeper?"

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james 4:17 csb

So it is sin to know the good and yet not do it.

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john 21:22 esv

Jesus said to him, "If it is My will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!"

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i john 5:2 esv

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments.