communication, part 1

©2022 dan bulkley |

section 1

There is the power of life and death in communication proverbs 18:21 . Heaven and Hell hang in the balance as we either gather towards the Lord or scatter from Him luke 11:23 . You can even bless yourself or curse yourself, literally by your communication matthew 12:37  proverbs 13:2  proverbs 18:7 . So, we should be very knowledgeable and trained in how to communicate in a God-pleasing way, as the Bible says, so that we please the Lord ii corinthians 5:9 , bless others proverbs 15:4  and take part in the weaving of eternal glories ii corinthians 5:20  ii corinthians 2:17  i peter 4:11.


proverbs 18:21 esv

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.


luke 11:23 esv

Whoever is not with Me is against me, and whoever does not gather with Me scatters.


matthew 12:37 csb

For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.


proverbs 13:2 csb

From the fruit of his mouth, a person will enjoy good things, but treacherous people have an appetite for violence.


proverbs 18:7 esv

A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.


ii corinthians 5:9 esv

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please {the Lord}.


proverbs 15:4 nkjv

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.


ii corinthians 5:20 esv

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.


ii corinthians 2:17 csb

For we do not market the word of God for profit like so many. On the contrary, we speak with sincerity in Christ, as from God and before God.


i peter 4:11 csb

If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

section 2

The problem with our communication is that it is more dictated by people, culture, and the expectations around us john 3:31  i john 4:5  than the way the Lord directs james 2:12  i peter 3:10-12 . In our flesh we are tempted to either be "too loving" or be "too truthful". Really, we limp back and forth between these two erring ways, jumping from one to another with little self-acknowledgement to our own hypocrisy, instability, and foolishness. Thankfully, neither of these errors are inevitable pitfalls nor are they accurate descriptions.


john 3:31 esv

He Who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He Who comes from heaven is above all.


i john 4:5 nlt

Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them.


james 2:12 esv

So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.


i peter 3:10-12 esv

Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

section 3

"Too loving", is the temptation to be so nice so as to detrimentally spare feelings ii corinthians 7:8-9 , please people galatians 1:10  jeremiah 15:19 , to have the appearance of looking godly ii corinthians 11:13-15 , to avoid discomfort galatians 6:12  and/or to get what we want micah 3:5 , all of these are a deceptive path. Sweet, little lies isaiah 30:10-11  are not "too loving"; they are a mask for selfishness and self-righteous pride i thessalonians 2:5 . Selfishness- as we’re nice for our own benefit galatians 4:17  proverbs 23:6-7 . Self-righteous pride- because we think we out-holy God; we "love" better than God instructs isaiah 65:5  mark 7:9 .


ii corinthians 7:8-9 nlt

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants His people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way.


galatians 1:10 esv

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.


jeremiah 15:19 nlt

This is how the LORD responds: "If you return to Me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve Me. If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be My spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you!


ii corinthians 11:13-15 esv

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.


galatians 6:12 esv

It is those who want to make a good showing in the flesh who would force you to be circumcised, and only in order that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ.


micah 3:5 niv84

This is what the LORD says: "As for the prophets who lead My people astray, if one feeds them, they proclaim ‘peace’; if he does not, they prepare to wage war against him.


isaiah 30:10-11 csb

They say to the seers, "Do not see," and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy the truth to us. Tell us flattering things. Prophesy illusions. Get out of the way! Leave the pathway. Rid us of the Holy One of Israel."


i thessalonians 2:5 niv84

You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed--God is our witness.


galatians 4:17 niv84

Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you [from us], so that you may be zealous for them.


proverbs 23:6-7 esv

Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. "Eat and drink!" he says to you, but his heart is not with you.


isaiah 65:5 csb

They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in my nostrils, a fire that burns all day long.


mark 7:9 nlt

Then He said, "You skillfully sidestep God’s law in order to hold on to your own tradition."

section 4

"Too Truthful", is the temptation to just let whatever is on your mind gush out proverbs 10:19  ecclesiastes 5:3  proverbs 15:2  while ignoring the harmful effects. Often, this is either people who are callous and thoughtless to others’ needs proverbs 18:2  or caught up in their own emotions and just verbally vomit proverbs 29:11 . This is not "too truthful" as it is ignoring the instructions of Truth james 3:6  and deludedly believing the heart’s overflow to be what is truthful rather than wickedly deceptive jeremiah 17:9  matthew 12:34 . Saying whatever comes to mind is not truthful but the ill-discipline of a brutish, harmful, deceived heart psalm 73:21-22, 15  jude 10 .


proverbs 10:19 csb

When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent.


ecclesiastes 5:3 esv

For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many words.


proverbs 15:2 nlt

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.


proverbs 18:2 nlt

Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.


proverbs 29:11 esv

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.


james 3:6 nlt

And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.


jeremiah 17:9 esv

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?


matthew 12:34 esv

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.


psalm 73:21-22, 15 csb

When I became embittered and my innermost being was wounded, I was stupid and didn’t understand; I was an unthinking animal toward you.

If I had decided to say these things aloud, I would have betrayed your people.


jude 10 nkjv

But these speak evil of whatever they do not know; and whatever they know naturally, like brute beasts, in these things they corrupt themselves.

section 5

Either way, or any combination therein, we are not communicating in a Biblical, God-pleasing way, as we either harm by our hurtful words ii timothy 2:14  or hate with our lies proverbs 26:28 . We are being sinful, harmful, destructive and even deadly. How can we avoid these two errors that so naturally flow from us romans 3:12-14 ?


ii timothy 2:14 esv

Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.


proverbs 26:28 esv

A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin.


romans 3:12-14 esv

All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."

"Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive."

"The venom of asps is under their lips."

"Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness."

section 6

The way we avoid these pitfalls is walking in the way between the two guardrails of Truth and Love ii john 3-6 . This is why we are told specifically to speak the Truth in Love ephesians 4:15 . At its core, Biblical Communication is all about Truth AND Love. Now, to look for insight into what God has instructed for Truthful AND Loving communication.


ii john 3-6 esv

Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love. I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father. And now I ask you, dear lady—not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we have had from the beginning—that we love one another. And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.


ephesians 4:15 nlt

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.